The Secret Within 'The Secret.'

Few have not heard of 'The Secret.' The Law of Attraction that promises to change our lives simply by 'Thinking Positive.' Think about it long enough and that which you think about will manifest in your life. Think of the Money you need to pay 'Bills' and you will open a mailbox full of Bills. Think of Money - and you will open a mailbox full of Checks.

If it were that simple!

The Secret touches on one aspect of the Formula. It is true that we need begin with the correct Thought. However, without Action no matter how 'positive' that thought, we are not going to get anything! You can Think yourself Rich until the cows come home...until you take Action to create the means for wealth to enter...nothing will change. No-one wins the Lotto without buying a ticket first.

The second aspect The Secret and many motivational guru's fail to emphasise is the State of Mind or Emotion behind that thought that is needed to bring it to fruition.

You have the Thought: I want to be Rich.

Nothing much changes.

You word it according to Universal Principles that one must bring it into the present to manifest it totally. So you change it: I am Rich.

Nothing much changes.

You hold that thought for 6 to 20 seconds at a time to allow the neural pathways to form around the new thought.

Nothing much changes.

You even go out and Buy the Lotto ticket (you take Action)...

Nothing Happens!

Why? Your emotional state was not aligned to the concept of being Rich! You have umpteen subconsious 'truths' about money that prevents you from attaining it or keeping it. "Money is the root of all Evil." "Work Hard for your Money." "Wealthy people are lazy swines..."

Until your Thoughts are aligned with your Emotions and you take the correct Action...satisfactory results will continue to elude you.

T.E.A.

Thought aligned with the correct Emotion + Action will manifest your desires!

Lets look at in a different light. You have the Thought you want to lose weight. You take Action - you join a gym and diet. The Results you hope for will not be achieved until you are emotionally in sync with the idea that you are slim and fit.

The moment the numbers on the scale or tape measure start decreasing - it creates the emotional readiness for the weightloss. The Body-Mind becomes aligned with the feeling of weightloss and can therefore produce more of it.

Just as a 'Bad Hair' day gets worse as it progresses and you 'expect' more disaster, so too does a run of 'Luck' where you expect to win based on the previous feeling of winning.

The truth of this Success Formula (Thought + Emotion + Action) was brought home to me in a 'Miraculous' manifestation of a holiday to Zanizibar last year. I was in my office and rather alot was happening.(i.e I was an exhausted wreck!) I was visited at 10h00 by a Car Rental Representative who was new to the position. I remarked at her 'unique' accent. South African by birth, she had lived in London with Australian and New Zealand flatmates and worked for American Airlines. The result was a cosmopolitan accent that put me right back into my own experiences of traveling! Recounting familiar anecdotes with a backpack and hiking boots I would describe it as a 'Wash' of emotion that came over me. In an instant I YEARNED to be back in the freewheeling world of the Backpack traveler: Hiking boots, a pair of tattered jeans and no fancy expectations: just a neat and clean hotel room, adequate shower facilities and of course, an Exotic location.

She left at 11h00. By 12h00 I was attending my Godson's First birthday party. At 12h20 his aunt arrived with a dilemma: She had booked and paid for an 8 day trip to Zanzibar and schedule adjustments meant her one daughter could not take the trip. She was looking for some-one (anyone) with a) Valid Passport and b) Time to Travel to use the fully paid for ticket. The trip started in less than a week and she had tried umteen friends, associates and colleagues to no avail.

Guess what? With just a few minor diary adjustments and a Yellow Fever shot, I was en-route to Zanizibar! A fully paid for vacation in a 'comfortable' beach lodge on the best beach of the island! As an exotic location Zanizibar is THE BEST vacation destination. As the final functioning port for the Slave Trade, the Spice Trade and a conglomeration of almost every tribe in Africa: Zanzibar was the epitome of the EXACT experience I had YEARNED for less than 2 hours earlier!

The KEY to manifestation: the house, the car, the job, the partner you want...is the Emotional State that aligns itself with the thought and, of course, the action.  In the instances that I have gotten anything instantaneously it is that emotion that goes with it that is the key to Attracting that which you Desire.

I would describe it as a feeling so intense that it must come from the soul itself. Not the Ego's false sense of pride and false glory, but a genuine urge from the core of your being.

When your Thoughts are aligned with your Emotions - you will take the correct Actions and manifestation is the definitive outcome. It is only the length of Time to manifestation that varies.

5 RULES TO GREAT PARENTING!

Children are a product of their up-bringing. Concious or unconcious nuances in the words or deeds from their primary care-givers have lasting effects on their sense of self esteem, self worth and sense of belonging in the world.

In giving your child the fundamentals of Love and Nurturance you hold the key to producing a young adult with the means and methods to enjoy a 'Gifted' life.

1. SET BOUNDARIES:

How many of you are doing your utmost to give your child everything YOU didn’t have as a child? Material 'things', any manner of hobby or interest that passes his/her fancy, family vacations to surpass any other...and jeapardize financial security in doing so?

The greatest gift a parent can give a child is the self control to persevere BEYOND instantaneous gratification to the era of self worth and achievement to do something ‘for him/her self.’

Nothing gives a sense of self-satisfaction like achievement after a degree of effort.

2. WORK WITH YOUR CHILD’S STRENGTHS

We all have things that we are ‘good’ at. Things that are easily achievable and give us pleasure in the doing. We all have areas that we are not so good at. Things that we struggle with. Imagine how much better we could do the things we are good at – if we did not ‘waste’ time and effort trying to perfect something that we will never like or enjoy?

A professional in any field spends hours working and perfecting the unique speciality he has. Fine tuning his technique, improving his method until he may be considered 'The Best' in that field. Michael Jordan is ranked before Babe Ruth and Muhammed Ali as the Greatest Sportsman of the 20th Century. He is revered for his 'Slam Dunk' shot - his ability to 'Air jump' as no one before has. Jordan established early in his career what he was good at and worked rigorously to improve on that. It was the mark of his success.

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

Michael Jordan

 Marcus Buckingham Strengths

3. PLAY WITH YOUR CHILD

The biggest misconception parents have is that they need take time away from the things they really enjoy to spend quality time with their children. The result is resentment and procrastination in doing this 'chore.' A child does not care what he/she is doing with you – as long as he is doing it with you! Take this opportunity to really PLAY with your child – do what you want to do – just include your child in the experience.

4. SPEAK YOUR CHILD’S LANGUAGE:                       

Gary Chapman discusses the "5 Languages of Love" http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/

Essentially we accept or 'hear' expressions of love in the 'language' we speak it. If we do not perceive we are recieving love, we grow up in the belief that we are not loved. Chapman theorizes there are Five mediums in which love is expressed. We all have a primary and secondary medium in which we understand love. In order to 'feel loved' we need expression of that love in the 'language' or medium we portray love in:

1. Language: Verbal expression of love. "I Love you." said aloud. Verbal expression of appreciation and gratitude: ie: You did that well. You look great. I love that colour on you...

2.  Time: The individual needs protracted 'time' with another to feel nurtured. Long and leisurely bathtime, protracted story telling at bed time...

3. Gifting: This individual expresses and receives love through the giving of 'gifts' or tokens: a handful of flowers, a picture drawing, a favorite plaything.

4. Service: Here expressions of service: making a meal, a cup of tea, doing something for another...are means to express love.

5. Touch: Often the primary language of love in males, touch includes hugs, 'rough and tumble' play, kisses, playing with a child's hair etc.

It is important to observe how a child expresses his/herself in appreciation - and thereafter conciously supplement the child's life in open display of affection in that child's 'language of love.'

5. ADHD AND MODERN LIVING

30 Years ago the ‘fax’ was first making its appearance in the business world. Contracts and Communication were undertaken by “post.” Two weeks between communications was acceptable. Television was in its infancy in South Africa and transmitted from 17h00 to 00h00. Thereafter we watched the ‘Test Pattern.'

In our modern world we have internet and email, Instant Messaging, SMS, Mix-it, Skype, Cell phones and 300 odd television channels running 24/7. The average internet surfer will browse a webpage for less than 4 seconds before moving on to the next if it does not capture his interest.

The world has changed. The way a child concentrates has changed. In brain scans of 'Normal' (i.e. traditional learners) the concentration areas 'light up' when the child focusses in a quiet, studious atmosphere. The brain scan of an 'ADHD' individual shows the same level of concentration within a stimulated environment. An ADHD child needs stimulation in order to learn. Attempting to box these children into the traditional learning environment with Ritalin or equivalent pharmaceutical action does not address the modern mode of living. The world is faster. Information moves in nano-seconds. It is the Traditional System that needs changing: not the child.

As Adults - how often do we see each other pacing furiously while on a cell phone? As Adults - how often do we take a call while simultaneously downloading emails and browsing the internet because we are impatient with 'just sitting still.' And yet, children across the globe are medicated (some as young as 4 years old!) because they too cannot 'sit still.'

As parents then - before accepting the notion that your child is 'ADHD' or ADD and will require medication for which the long term affect are unknown...look at an alernative lifestyle:

• Decrease sugars and additives in the diet.
• Decrease consumption of refined flours.
• Decrease exposure to electronic gear: television, computers, cell phones, DVD players.
• Decrease your own frenetic life style: lead by example.
• Increase outdoor activities: sport, play, leisure.
• Increase 'Nothing' time: Every moment of every day does not need to be filled. Take a moment to simply have a moment.

The Adults of the future are created by the parents and child minders of today. You have the opportunity to offer them Gifts our parents had no idea were available to them.

The best form of Revenge...Be Happy!

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."

-Buddha-

Anger is a natural emotion. Unfortunately from a very young age, we are conditioned to label it 'bad.' As a 'Terrible Two Year Old' we are admonished for expressing ourselves in this way. A passionate display of rage as a favorite toy is taken from us is labeled a 'tantrum' and so begins the steady socialization to hide that which is deemed 'unacceptable.'

As adults, the habit of hiding such emotion becomes so ingrained many do not even recognise they are angry! Over time, unexpressed anger starts seething within the body framework. Organs most susceptible to this are the Liver (seat of anger in Chinese Medicine), Gall Bladder (You may have heard the term: "what galls you?"), Kidneys and Bladder (What 'pisses' you off?) and Pancreas - related to 'Sweetness' - or lack thereof - in life. Diseases relating to these organs often have 'anger' or its close cousin 'rage' as the root cause.

I met with a client who appeared perfectly calm and serene. Having recently returned to South Africa after the break-up of her marriage I complimented her on her acceptance of the new situation. As a single mother, raising a daughter with Down Syndrome she honestly thought she held no animosity towards her wealthy ex-husband who had left her for a younger woman and refused to contribute to the continued care of his afflicted daughter. She was struggling materially, but remained convinced she was 'fine'. Beneath her unruffled exterior I sensed such deep seated fury I was amazed items were not flung around the room by the sheer energy of it.

In this instance, Anger was certainly appropriate. Anger was normal. And yet, a mask of social niceness was kept in place with a will of iron. From a metaphysical perspective, this woman was a disease waiting to manifest! Expression of Anger (any emotion) is essential for the continued vitality of the body. To deny natural feelings of anger, animosity, frustration, annoyance or rage is to lock such toxic thoughts and feelings into the body-mind. The danger is the trapped emotions may vent at inopportune moments: Road Rage is just such an inappropriate response to everyday frustrations. Unexpressed anger can explode in a moment.

How is anger 'good'? The sheer energy contained within the emotion is momentous. Anger as a fuel can drive an individual for greater and longer lengths of time. An angry sportsman who is able to focus his anger on his opponent is invincible. An angry housewife could quite possibly complete a month's worth of cleaning in an afternoon!

The individual who is able to recognise and harness the energy of anger has a resource of great potential.

Unfortunately many adults are unable to rise above the 'bad' label of anger. They guiltily mask the emotion in a 'sunny' exterior, staunchly refusing to acknowledge ill feeling. The squashing of such tempestuous energy breeds discontent. Resentment slowly builds, eating away at relationships, undermining the integrity of the relationship through this untruth. The lie by ommission of expression is perhaps the single most toxic ingredient in any relationship: marriage, business colleagues or friendships.

They say 'Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned?' Any form of betrayal can likely unleash a malestrom of emotion in male and females alike. Unexpected Retrenchment? News of an impending divorce? Found your business partner has been helping himself to more than his fair share? These events are guaranteed to unleash an unsettling array of emotions - anger being a very natural part of the adjustment.

To remain fixated in angry turmoil is a choice - and results in embittered rage that can last a lifetime. The alternative is to consciously work through anger to arrive at a point of pure serenity:

1. Recognise that you are angry.
2. Name (out loud or in written format) all that you are angry about.
   
3. Vent! Take yourself in your car, close all windows and SCREAM all you need to. Punch a pillow. Take a kick-boxing course.  It is important to physically release the anger from your cellular memory. Spontaneous tears are a signal trauma has been released.
   
4. Pamper yourself. Massage is a little like 'panel beating' your body. It irons out pockets of stress in your muscle and tissue.
   
5. Focus Forward: Use the experience and lessons gained to better prepare yourself for future events.
   
6. Be Happy! Arrange/ create/ motivate your life according to what pleases you! As you adjust yourself to the lifestyle aligned to your integrity: self fulfilment and happiness are the direct result.
   

No Revenge is Sweeter than arresting anothers' importance in your life through sublime Happiness.